I have another confession to make….I’m your fooooool (thanks Dave Grohl). No seriously, I do…
I’ve never been on a date.
Yeah you heard me right, I’ve never spent all day getting ready, worrying over what to wear and the impression it might give. I’ve never forwarded a text to a friend for ‘checking’ before pressing the send button or worried about where we might go. I’ve never done these things…and why? Because I’ve always fallen for friends.
I’ve only been in love twice in my life. Both times were real but both so different. The first was new, it was naive and completely rose tinted. It was young and so very, very immature. But it was love, my silly teenage first love. I was blindly, obsessively and madly in love for a couple of years. Tears, happiness, jealousy and anger included free of charge.
The second time was the biggie. The proper one. The type that changes lives. But like the first, he was my friend to start with for a whole year and more in fact. We went out many times of course, we fancied each other like crazy! But I wouldn’t have considered them ‘dates’.
I mean, we already lived together and had fallen out countless times by the time we first kissed! Ha ha, it’s quite funny when you think about it, it was completely back to front. On our adventures we left home together, planned the outing together and came home together. There was no awkward kiss on the doorstep or swapping of numbers and it worked out pretty well for eight years.
So now I’m on my own and eight months into singledom. I’m not unhappy with my situation, actually I’m more than content. I still pine for my ex because he will forever be in my heart, but for the first time in ten years, I’m starting to think about what it is ‘to date’. Am I able to do it? The concept is so alien and I’m really not sure it’s for me.
I think I must have issues with trust. I have to really know someone before opening up. Yeah ok, I have my stage face, I mean who doesn’t? I work with the general public, I can’t afford to be shy. But that’s work and this is play. This is real life…and in that, I can be painfully shy.
And I’m not looking for a boyfriend, I’ll make that clear right now. But I guess it would do me no harm to dabble in the possibilities of what dating entails. After all, I’m learning this basically from scratch.
So, the dating game. According to online sources I’m being told that I should…
1. Wait for him to approach you - well that has been no problem so far, but if I see something I want then I’m not patient. Note taken.
2. Learn to laugh at yourself to avoid awkward embarrassment - erm…ok, acquired that skill aged two, awesome!
3. Don’t call back immediately, leave it at least a day - what a ridiculous rule, I’d be pissed off if he did that to me so why should I do that to him?
4. Know when to quit and be the first to end the date - again, I’m not sure why but, *shrug* ok…
5. He should collect the bill for the first couple of months - LOL. Since when did I encourage gender inequality? Treats are lovely, but they should come from both sides.
6. Only casual kissing on the first date - I’d love to know what formal kissing entails.
7. Guys have balls. You don’t. Don’t let the ball be in your court. The ball should always be in his court. He knows what to do with his balls. Give him his balls - yeeeeeah, I’m down with that one :)
8. Allow yourself to be treated well, if he wants to wine and dine you, don’t stop him - hmm I’ll still worry and feel in debt, I need to adjust to that and relax.
9. Make an effort in your appearance - how long is this expected for? I love dressing up but it’s only a matter of time before he sees me in a hoody with no make up…and it aint priddy.
10. Respect yourself and your body and he will too - damn right.
Oh gosh….please wish me luck, I think I’m gonna need it.